This may be an awkward subject for you, but today we are going to talk about sex after you have given birth. The reason being that there have been so many changes to your body during pregnancy and birth that sex won’t be the same afterward. You may get close to how it used to be, but it probably won’t be the exact same as before.
Today’s post is not meant to scare you in any way it is just information that I think you should be aware of so that it doesn’t come as a huge shock for you.
What are the changes that my body is going through after childbirth?
First off let’s point out that everybody is different, every pregnancy is different, and that means every labor is different as well. Some women will go through more changes than others and have different outcomes as well.
So no matter which way you give birth, vaginal or c-section, you will have to heal. Your body will have to take time to shrink your uterus and heal any tears or cuts you have. That means you need to wait for either your c-section incision or if your perineal tears to heal before you can have sex again.
For a perineal tear, it may take two to three weeks to heal. For a c-section, it takes about six weeks.
Your doctors will tell you that you shouldn’t have sex again until after six weeks or until your checkup.
If you are breastfeeding be prepared to be a lot drier down there. It may also kill your sex drive for a while as well. With breastfeeding taking up a lot of your time and energy since your body has to produce milk it may make you less likely to want sex.
There are some women that are the exact opposite as both of these as well. Where they are even wetter down there and have a high sex drive. It really just depends on your body. We are all different.
What else should I expect about sex after childbirth?
Pain in the beginning
If you have a suture from a perineal tear it will heal, but leave scar tissue. Same with a c-section. The difference is that c-section scar tissue isn’t where your vaginal opening is. So it won’t hurt with intercourse unless you are putting a lot of pressure on it or flexing your abdominal muscles.
Whereas the perineal scar tissue will cause pain with intercourse until the scar tissue has softened. The reason is that scar tissue reduces function and movement. And when you are having intercourse the muscle that now has scar tissue has less movement and that can make it super tight and a bit painful.
You may be a bit uncomfortable with your postpartum body
Remember that your body is healing itself after creating and birthing a tiny human. There should be no need for self-consciousness, but it can happen and more so with your significant other. Which can cause you to lose your sex drive.
You should not be disappointed, uncomfortable, annoyed, or super self-conscious about your new body. It may not be what it once was, but it can still go back to before for the most part. Feel proud that your body housed a baby and gave life to a precious child.
You may have to try new positions
You may be the lucky few where the same positions still excite you or feel the same. Or you may be the others that have to come up with new positions to feel pleasure. It is just how your body changes that make the difference in how everything feels.
Most importantly: Do NOT feel pressured to have sex before you are ready!
Men usually love sex the most and it pains them when they can’t have it for weeks or more, but don’t let them push you. Listen to your body, listen to your doctor, and wait until you are fully healed and comfortable to start again. Definitely, do not let them pressure you into having sex before you heal.
Having sex before you are healed can hurt you. It can tear sutures and even leave you in enough pain to not want sex for a very long time. Men need to be patient because you just gave birth and taking care of a newborn should be your biggest worry, not sex.
- Life After Having a Baby
- What You Should Know About Postpartum Sutures
- 11 Things They Don’t Tell You About Life After Labor
- How to Have a Sex Life After Children
- How to Keep Your Relationship Alive After Having Kids
- And may more under our Motherhood tab!